make this moment worth saving, oh all the fireflies! feels like these last three months have broken and battered me in so many ways. Near bliss and near death. I feel as if I have come out a much more focused person, I’ve invested a lot of myself into a couple of people I probably shouldn’t have. But through this heartache I have hardened myself against the world, a +4 mace of warding against emotion if you will… From tomorrow onwards I am more passionate than ever on fixing my own problems, dealing with my anxiety and getting professional help and drugs if need be to steady myself. 

The night is dark and full of terrors, and this is exactly why I feel I cannot stand by and live in fear of my future, live in fear of my own failures. I have a responsibility to use my skills and my passion to make a positive change to this world. 

In the shallow industry of film I have done, said, and been part of things that make me sick when I remember who I wanted to be when I left high school. But in realizing this I am left with an ultimatum, either continue doing things against what I believe is and burn a hole straight through my heart, or embarace my failures and use the anger at myself to fuel my change.